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So I finally watched SPN 6.20
I don't have that many coherent thoughts about it yet.

This episode officially renewed my faith in the show. The beginning of this season did not work for me on a lot of levels, and I wish we had gotten past the demon torture and the robo!Sam sections several episodes earlier, but now that we're past them I'm back on the same page as the show.

Some thoughts, in no particular order:

- CROWLEY IS BACK AND HE IS AWESOME. Please, show. Never kill him again.

- Oh Cas. You broke my heart again and again this episode. When he was watching Dean rake leaves, when he was protecting the Winchesters, when he was explaining what the Winchesters meant to him. Basically, anytime he was onscreen, my heart was aching for him.

- Dean trying so hard to believe in Cas for so long also broke my heart just a little. It was such a Dean thing to do. To continue believing in your friends and in your family far longer than is sensible but just as long as you should.

- HELL IS A LINE AND PEOPLE STAND IN IT FOREVER. I actually really like that.

- Admit it. When Crowley was talking to Cas about making a deal, you hoped there was a kiss involved. I know I did.

- "It sound so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" Oh, Cas! Oh, Dean! Oh Cas and Dean!

- "You should have come to us for help, Cas." Yes he should have, but he didn't, and now it's too late. Cas is too deep into everything with Crowley, and he's too deep into his fight with Raphael, and he can't see another way out. This is so clear when Dean tells him they can fix it, and Cas says it isn't broken. Cas, it really, really is broken, but you're too deep into everything to see it.

- I am SO GLAD that Cas didn't leave Sam's soul in hell on purpose. I didn't want to think him capable of that, so I'm glad that he didn't. I want to go back and re-watch the episode where Cas figures out that Sam had no soul so I can see his reaction. I'm guessing he's be crushed, no?

- Dean finally voiced the way I've been thinking about these four for quite a while now. They're a family. I think this is one of the themes this season is working on. What makes up a family, how people can earn "family" without being related by blood, and what it means to be family. I hope they keep working on this theme throughout the rest of the season.

- Random question: If Cas pulled Sam out of hell, why doesn't Sam have a hand print? Because Cas didn't do it right?

What I hope to see for the rest of the season:

- Sam, Dean, and Bobby may start hunting Cas, but I need them to give him one last chance. Because he's family.

- Cas realizing that his way is wrong, and going to Sam, Dean, and Bobby for help.

- The four of them working together to find another way, because that's what Dean and Sam do best: find a third way.  In the apocalypse, they didn't side with heaven or hell, they sided with humanity and it worked.  That's what I want to see happen again.  And I want to see Cas being included in team humanity.

Okay, thinky thoughts done for now.

...And now, even though I'm totally an OTP girl at heart, I'm kinda wanting to read some Crowley/Cas.  Because that would be awesome.

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Dean/Cas is my OTP, but hell YES I want some Crowley/Cas, especially with how Crowley said "you're welcome" when he freed Cas from the holy fire - to me, it really felt like Crowley actually likes Cas, which makes a hot and wrong pairing ever the more bittersweet imo. (Why yes, I've been writing fic in my head since I saw the episode).

Cas broke my heart in this ep, too. And Dean did as well, though at the same time I'm angry at him because it was too little, too late. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about them, I find myself vacillating between hating the Winchesters and feeling sympathetic for them. xD I am a bit of an overprotective Cas!girl, though, if they legit start hunting him I will actually hate them, lol. /biased

This episode amazed me. Absolutely floored me. I just couldn't believe how personal the betrayal was - Dean really wasn't upset about the morality of what Castiel was doing, it wasn't the 'regrettable things'. This was a betrayal of friendship and family and trust I was already drowning in D/C feeeeelings, but now I'm completely dead of how much they love each other.

- Random question: If Cas pulled Sam out of hell, why doesn't Sam have a hand print? Because Cas didn't do it right?


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